How do I create a rule of life?

- The Rev. Jay Rozendaal

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When you create a Rule of Life for yourself, ask for the help of a companion, a spiritual director or friend, or a priest.  A companion can help you see the direction of your life more clearly, and help you find clarity and balance in your Rule.

When you begin, consider the shape of your daily life and commitments — your family & friends, your work, your church.  Look at the things you already do — your prayer & worship habits, volunteer efforts, charitable contributions, and such.  Most of us already live according to a kind of rule — we just have not thought about it in this way, and made it “official.”

Next, consider what general areas of life and experiences are important for you to include in organizing your Rule. 

Some areas to explore are:

• The traditional areas of poverty, chastity, and obedience, which address our relationships with the things of the world, with our bodies and our selves, and with others
• The Baptismal Covenant (Book of Common Prayer, 304-305), as a guide to organize your Rule around prayer and worship, relationships, reconciliation, and renewal
• Your commitments to your parish and to serving others
• Study, which deepens your understanding of the faith
• Stewardship, the way you use your resources of time, talent, and treasure
• Personal health

Any area of your life can be included in a Rule in order to lift it up in the spirit of prayer, dedication, and service. Create a unique set of themes, or combine all of these in creative ways, which blend your personality with communal and traditional themes.

When you’ve done this, begin to put the parts together — place your current practices within the framework you’ve created for yourself, and ask yourself where you might stretch a little (or maybe a lot) to deepen your life in Christ. 

Look to the prayer resources on this site and others, and The Book of Common Prayer for ideas, resources, guidelines, and practices for your Rule.

• Does it mirror your personality, your faith?
• Does it challenge you in the right places, and affirm you in others?
• Is there a balance of being and doing — prayer and action; engagement and solitude; words and silence; speaking and listening?
  

While a Rule will probably challenge you in some areas, it should not exhaust you in any.  It should be do-able (do not set yourself up to fail), but not superficial (do not just take an “easy way out”); it should be a commitment, but not a straightjacket.

Your Rule should fit your life…

If you find yourself feeling burdened, or frustrated by your Rule, or if you feel it’s actually getting in between you and God, go back and see what needs adjusting.  Your Rule should reflect who you are and what “faith in action” means to you.  Do not be afraid to make changes that help you keep getting clearer about what it means to live faithfully.  Always be careful not to take “easy outs” — things that are difficult sometimes are the very things that will bear tremendous fruit in time if we keep going.  When you feel a need to change, talk with your spiritual companion who can help you discern what is just not a good fit for you, and what’s a spiritual growing edge. 

Above all, living according to a Rule should always help draw you closer to God — so pray about your Rule when you write it, and when you change it.  Use it, work with it so that it works for you, strengthening your life in the Spirit, in the Body of Christ.  The Rule should, in the words of St. Paul, build you up in love, bringing you to the measure of the full stature of Christ (Eph. 4:13, 16).