But for two years I gave it up to sit in a room with a dozen teens while I slowly fell in love with each one.

Volunteering as a J2A leader was not what I expected to be doing as an over-50 empty nester, nor did I feel particularly well-suited for the role.

The seed was planted two years before, I suppose, when I witnessed my first Rite 13 ceremony during Sunday worship. My eyes filled with tears watching a handful of 13-year-olds symbolically leave their parents’ sides to begin their “journey to adulthood.” My two daughters were by then well past that age and had never had this opportunity. One was confirmed, but that was because our rector had encouraged it when she was only 10. She barely remembers.

So, after a week of pondering, I said yes to our new associate rector’s request to serve as one of three leaders of our J2A group. We learned at a diocesan training that we weren’t expected to be the parish youth leader. (Whew!) Besides, the pied-piper style of ministry -- counting on one charismatic, youthful someone to entertain and motivate  teens -- had not endured in this parish. Too often, such a minister burns out and leaves.

What does endure, when you have supportive clergy, grateful parents and collegial, fun-loving co-leaders, is a framework for incorporating young people more fully into a parish.  The teens become more visible and well-known, more involved and, I think, more cherished.

LeaderResources, an Episcopal independent nonprofit agency, developed Journey to Adulthood and the two-inch-thick notebook of materials to guide leaders through the two years. We spent a semester on self-study, another on society, one on sexuality and another on spirituality.

The culminating event, and the one we had to raise money for and fret about, was the J2A pilgrimage. After several yard sales, a Shrove Tuesday Mardi Gras and other fund-raising efforts, our group went to southern England for 10 terrific days.

The J2A ‘mom’

My stint as a leader ended a year ago -- two years is the recommended term of service -- and I’ve had time to reflect. Yes, it was hectic, on top of my full-time job and other commitments. No, I wasn’t wise and witty like Maggie, who coordinated most of the instruction. Nor was I like magnetic, mischievous Arthur, who engaged participants in conversation and fun.

I was more like a mom, quietly present almost every Sunday and in between. Observing as our kids goofed off, struggled and matured. Keeping in touch by e-mail. Coordinating publicity. Carrying all the passports as we visited those English cathedrals.

Last fall, our group continued in Young Adults in Church (YAC) for senior high youth and entered a “confirmation discernment” class. Recently I had the honor of joining my co-leaders to present them to the bishop at a diocesan confirmation. And there were tears in my eyes again,  not because of what I missed out on, but because of what I had gained: a dozen more kids to think about, pray about, be proud of and love from afar as they move through achievements and setbacks, joys and sorrows.

Now when I leisurely enjoy my Sunday mornings before heading for church, I often think about those beautiful young people sprawled on the couches and chairs of our J2A room or on the pilgrimage bus. When I see them serving as acolytes or in some other role, I’m delighted -- and always grateful to connect with them or their parents. Now that I’ve turned over my responsibility to others, it’s gratifying to realize that other members of my parish will get to know and appreciate them, too.

I’m really glad I did something I didn’t feel particularly well-suited for. It wasn’t so difficult after all. Like adulthood, it’s all about the journey.